THE BILL CHUCK FILES: IT’S TIME TO PLAY MCCARVER
By Baseball Newstalgist, Bill Chuck
October 14, 2009
Coverage of the ALCS moves from TBS to Fox, which means while we will be missing Chip Carey “headscratchers” we move on to what I refer to as Tim McCarver-isms.
Here are 20 to get you started:
1. CC Sabathia – “The Yankees are hoping to say “Si, Si senor!’ about Sabathia’s pitching.”
2. Vlad Guerrero – “The Angels are Vlad to see Guerrero hitting again.”
3. Mark Teixeira – “The Yanks are hoping that Mark’s bat will bring them each a World Series share-a.”
4. John Lackey – The Angels are counting on John and that hope that nothing is lack-ing from his repertoire.”
5. Johnny Damon – “Damon has moved to the number two slot in the batting order and he has proven to be Johnny-on-the-spot for the New Yorkers.”
6. Jered Weaver – The Angels will be looking for Jered to be a dream weaver this postseason.”
7. Mariano Rivera – “You’ve heard of the French Riviera, well Mariano is the luxurious Panamanian Rivera.”
8. Darren Oliver – “The Angels need Oliver to be as hardy as he was in the ALDS.”
9. Melky Cabrera – “A Cabrera hit here would be as delicious for the Yanks as melk and cookies.”
10. Mike Napoli – “If Mike Napoli can throw a runner out, you can be sure that Mike Scoscia will be yell “Abbondanza!’”
11. Phil Coke – “Coke this season has proven to be the real thing.”
12. Torii Hunter – “Torii is definitely hunting for a World Series ring.”
13. Andy Pettitte – “Pettitte likes to work the corners, so he needs to hope that the home plate umpire has a Pettitte strike zone and not a petite strike zone.”
14. Ervin Santana – “Santana needs to change his evil ways and pitch effectively.”
15. Robinson Cano – “This year has proven the talent of Cano, who has been can do which means Robby Cano is really can-yes.”
16. Chone Figgins – “The Angels are reliant on Figgins to set the tone for the rest of the lineup; he really should be Tone Figgins, not Chone Figgins.”
17. Joe Girardi – “Girardi is looking for his first ring as manager of the Yankees. His goal is to catcha-Joe-Torre in championships.
18. Kendry Morales – “That was a huge hit, which means the morales of this story is be careful when you pitch to Kendry.”
19. A.J. Burnett – “Burnett is really pitching well. It’s clear A.J had his OJ this morning.”
20. Bobby Abreu – “As Bobby Abreu steps to the plate, it’s clear that something is a-brewin’ with the Angels.”
Get one point for each song from the McCarver CD:
1. Fox will play McCarver singing “One for My Baby (And One More for the Road)” as Joe Buck prepares to give the lineups. Lyrics” So set ‘em up, Joe…”
2. As Fox shows the new Yankee Stadium, they will look at the old Stadium with McCarver singing, “There Used to Be a Ballpark.”
3. Pre-game look at a pitcher – McCarver singing, “This Will Be My Shining Hour.”
4. As a season review – McCarver singing, “I’ll Remember April.”
Now a more grown-up version of this game is take a drink for each McCarver-ism used. The only trouble is by the 6th inning you’ll be in no condition to pay attention to the rest of the game.
Bill Chuck is a regular contributor to NESN and NESN.com and is available at Bill@billy-ball.com or by calling 617-566-2784.