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Obama is Not The Messiah and Chosen One, Tiger Wood Is

Wednesday, February 25, 2009 , Posted by Christopher Byrne at 8:25 AM, under , , , , ,

Athens, GA (Feb 25, 2009) - Perhaps it is fitting that Tiger Woods is returning to the PGA Tour on Ash Wednesday of 2009. It is too bad that he could not hold off to Easter Week. If so, the media platitudes and gushing might sound something like Matthew's Gospel account of the Resurrection of Christ.


An adaptation of the Gospel of Mathew, Chapter 28: 1-10

1After the Sabbath, at dawn on the fourth day of the week, Tim Finchem and the media went to look at the tomb.

2There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

5The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Tiger, who has been missing in action. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Arizona. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Tiger met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Tiger said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Arizona; there they will see me."


Yes, I know that this may sound sacrilegious, but is it any more over the top than this promo being aired by The Golf Channel this week (as highlighted by Brian Powell over on Awful Announcing)?



Now don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of Tiger. In fact I only watch golf when he is on and competing, as most of the players I knew when caddying on the PGA Tour have either moved on to the Champions Tour or are not competing anymore. But the narrative given by Samuel L. Jackson in the promo is a wee bit scary. It openly acknowledges that the PGA Tour is nothing without Tiger.

I, like others, would love to see his return today. Unfortunately, because the PGA Tour has moved all weekday coverage to The Golf Channel, I and many others will not be able to see it. Notwithstanding, here are the air times for this weeks coverage on The Golf Channel, Sirius - XM Radio and NBC Sports:

Wednesday, February 25 SIRIUS-XM 12 - 8 PM ET
Wednesday, February 25 The Golf Channel 2 - 6 PM ET
Wednesday, February 25 The Golf Channel 7:30 - 11:30 PM ET
Thursday, February 26 The Golf Channel 12:30 - 4:30 AM ET
Thursday, February 26 SIRIUS (209), XM (146) 12 - 8 PM ET
Thursday, February 26 The Golf Channel 2 - 6 PM ET
Friday, February 27 The Golf Channel 2 - 5 AM ET
Friday, February 27 SIRIUS-XM 12 - 8 PM ET
Friday, February 27 The Golf Channel 2 - 6 PM ET
Saturday, February 28 The Golf Channel 2 - 5 AM ET
Saturday, February 28 The Golf Channel 10 - 2 PM ET
Saturday, February 28 SIRIUS-XM 10 - 8 PM ET
Saturday, February 28 NBC Sports 2 - 6 PM ET
Sunday, March 1 The Golf Channel 10 - 1:30 PM ET
Sunday, March 1 SIRIUS-XM 10 - 12 AM ET
Sunday, March 1 NBC Sports 2 - 6 PM ET

Hit it stiff Tiger!

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